Confidence is defined as a feeling or belief that you can rely on someone or something; a firm trust. Understandably, trust is often one of the many things shattered for victims of sexual abuse, harassment, or other violent crimes. Oftentimes, the perpetrator is someone they knew, and therefore had some level of trust in, but even if the perpetrator was a stranger, there was a general trust in society that was violated. For many victims, these trust issues will spread to friends, family, coworkers, the legal system, and beyond.
On the surface, it might seem that this loss of trust could be a protective reaction to the crime, making the victim less likely to be hurt again, but sadly that is not the case. According to research compiled by The National Center for Victims of Crime:
- Compared to women who have not been assaulted, the odds of experiencing a new assault over a 2-year period were doubled for women with one assault, quadrupled for women with two assaults, and elevated ten-fold for women with three or more prior victimizations.
- Women who experienced sexual abuse as a child are 2 to 3 times more likely to be sexually assaulted later in life.
- 43% of domestic violence incidents occurring over a 25-month period involved only about 7% of 1,450 households.
- Child sexual abuse victims have been found to be 3-5 times more likely to experience subsequent adult victimization than respondents who had not experienced any type of child abuse.
The message here is not one of ‘blaming the victim’, but it does provide a window of understanding into how being a crime victim can reshape a person’s behavior. We believe that one of the biggest factors at play here is another damaged trust: Guilt and shame chip away at the trust all others are based on, the trust in one’s self…their self-confidence. In the simplest of terms, if you don’t have confidence in yourself, it is difficult to love yourself, and if you don’t love yourself, you may, consciously or unconsciously set a very low bar for who you allow to love you, and even what you consider love.
The good news is that you are not the first person to go down this seemingly lonely road, and the past, yours or that of others, does not have to be your future. No matter what you have done, or what has been done to you, you deserve love, and that starts with loving yourself. Our private and small group programs will provide you with the safe space, tools, and support you need to shed the chains of darkness that are keeping you from living a life of love and light.
If you’d like more information, drop us an email, or fill out the form below, and we’ll be in touch